I probably should wear a sign that says this. Just get it out of the way, then we can move on without any pretenses. I should possibly even wear a sign that states, "If you have a girlfriend or wife and can read this sign, you are too close. Please back away and do not even speak to me." After all, I am "that girl". I have been "that girl" for a very long time. Since high school, even. I am the chronic flirt. I am single, for lots of reasons, including the fact that I am loyal to very few except myself. I don't pay attention to things like whether or not a man is in a relationship already. I sleep around. I wear my sexuality with ease, not like other women who wear it like an awkward purse - never knowing how to hold it, where to hang it, or when to just put it down. I am dangerous, or so some women might think. In actuality, I'm not.
I can say no to men, even if most of the time I don't. Women want to think the best of me, because after all, I really am a sweet and lovable human being; but they can't help having that little voice in the back of their head that tells them not to trust me around their men. It's ok. I get it. I keep myself in check, even though I am a strong believer in the fact that it is NOT my job to do that with your man. I get put in awkward situations and people assume things right off the bat. It is true what they say about what it means to assume. If you've never heard that ditty, then look it up using the link I provided. I try not to assume things about others as well. It's difficult sometimes. There are many facets to my being and just because I talk about the most lively, wild parts does not mean that it is who I am in my entirety. I deal with it and most times just laugh it off. So, in the words of Forrest Gump, "that's all I have to say about that".
Speaking of assuming: I said that I try not to do it very often. It still happens. Today for instance - I got a phone call from Mini Me's teacher. Apparently, she is becoming somewhat of a social butterfly this year and is not focusing on her work. I had been assuming everything was fine, when in fact, Mini Me has been hiding notes sent home by the teacher for me to sign. She has also not been turning in her homework, which we have been completing every night. This part, I will blame on the teacher. I was extremely confused by her inadequacy at explaining her homework procedures at the beginning of the year. She was not specific at all on the turn-in procedures and couldn't even answer a simple question that I asked, about which folder Mini Me's things are supposed to be brought back in. Mini Me also says she is really strict and mean. I don't know about that, but some organization is in order. I'm honestly not looking forward to constant phone calls from the teacher. Now that she has spoken with me once, I just gave her the go-ahead for other phone calls - I bet they come on a weekly basis. Mini Me is very smart. Did the teacher ever think that maybe Mini Me is not being challenged enough? Little Man had that problem up until 5th grade. He's in all accelerated classes and still thinks school is easy. I would be looked at as the total bitch mom if I brought that up, though. So, I told her that I would look into it and that if she was having any more issues, please give me a call. "Good Mom" points for me today.
I am still trying to work on "Good Friend" points. I find those are harder to come by.
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If you can't say something nice, it at least better be funny!