Can't Christmas trees take themselves down?!

I was eyeing my tree last night.  It is already becoming a dried, shriveled up mess.  It's sad, really.  I like leaving my tree up until the new year, but I don't know if it will make it that long.  I think the only negative to having a real tree is the task of taking everything off, then having to dispose of it.  I will probably also have the pleasure of taking our office tree to be recycled (can a tree that has ugly red icicle tinsel all over it be recycled??), as I am the only one with a truck.  Yay.  That tree is definitely being taken down this week.  Mine will be coming down on the 1st, unless I get all productive on my day off and take it down the day before.

Speaking of New Year's Eve, I've resolved to spend mine at home this year.  I have a great view of the Strip from my house, so I'll be able to watch fireworks, have champagne in my brand new flutes that I got on clearance over the weekend and ring in what is sure to be the most awesome year ever with a kiss from my love...all in my pajamas, if I so choose.  Oh...and I'll have caviar, because my mother re-gifted me some that she got from her landlord (I see myself having a taste, then getting rid of it. I seem to remember not liking it, but I can't remember).  I suppose I should get some fancy pajamas or something, because I don't want to be too under dressed. There will also be some sort of Festival of Meat and caloric intake going on in my home as well.  Mike is becoming a pescatarian and will continue his triathlon training next year, so evidently he wants to eat as much red meat as possible on NYE.  We're talking a huge roast, stuffed with steak, wrapped in bacon kind of carnage.  Not really, but...close.  We'll hike some of it off the next day.  I, however, am not cutting out meat...EVER.  Sometimes a girl just needs some semi-cooked flesh on a plate, even if it is only a few ounces of it.
I am so excited to begin a new year.  I feel like I just kind of skated through 2010 without actually accomplishing anything as far as goals are concerned.  That will change next year.  I have several things that I want to do for myself and my family...all of which I will post here, but I'm still reflecting and coming up an actual "To Do" list.
So, what are some of the things in store for this chicken in 2011?

If you would like to participate with me, go to
 http://wholelivingdaily.wholeliving.com/2010/12/get-ready-for-2011-change-your-life-in-four-weeks.html

That's just a taste.  2011 is going to be EPIC.  What are you going to do?

You're a mean one, Mrs. Chicken...

There have been crazy things happening this week.  I blame it on the full moon/lunar eclipse/winter solstice combo.  Mike doesn't believe me.  I'm happy today, for reasons I'll get into, but ever since let's say...Sunday, I've pretty much felt like the Grinch.  Not because I was hating on Christmas.

I have generally been in a cranky sort of mood for no reason what-so-ever.  In fact, Mike is this cute cuddly little baby with a big head kissing all over me, the green ugly monster with the heart that is two sizes too small and whose soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots.  Cute and sweet, isn't he? (judging by the pink on the socks, I'd say this baby is a girl, but whatever)  Mike loves me in spite of myself, which always seems to hit me over the head like a ton of bricks.  He loves all of me.  The cranky, unemotional, do what I say and keep your mouth shut, I love you but I'm glad you're going home, burping, stressed-out, inattentive, quiet, bottling up her feelings me that I let out every so often (or on a daily basis, depending on who you ask).  Especially when the moon is full and the world is swirling with weird ju ju.  He hasn't been himself either and our communication has been so-so.  I think he may have needed a little more attention than normal and my mood wasn't allowing me to see that. 

All I really saw was this. He's choking the shit out of me, isn't he?? No. Not really. I don't think he was being as clingy as he thought.

He is awesome and for whatever reason, our moods were not meshing well.  I guess I was feeling like I wanted some alone time.  He was supposed to come over Monday, but because of an emergency, he wasn't able to.  I don't think I was glad, per se, but he picked up on the fact that I wasn't extremely upset.  He was a little hurt by that.  We had a tiff.  Anyways...I'm feeling a lot less Grinch-like today...I love him, he loves me, blah blah blah...we're all good now.  Except, he's leaving for Utah for the weekend and needs to get laid before (it's so cute that he won't just come out and say "do me"), but I'll take care of that tomorrow! Hehehe.

 
That whole weirdness between Mike and I was only a part of the craziness that has ensued this week.  It's been raining out here for days.  Rain in the desert makes for crazy drivers and bitchy people.  You would think, with most of the people here being implants from somewhere else, that they would know how to drive in the rain...evidently they forget as soon as they enter the Las Vegas valley.  My truck broke down yesterday morning.  Luckily, it was only a serpentine belt, didn't cost me a whole butt-load of money, and I had many people that helped me out when I needed it.  I still have Christmas shopping to do, but I'm not stressed out about it.  I do my best under pressure and I'm convinced I will get it all done by Christmas Eve.  I wish I had Mike's gift ready so he could take it with him to Utah...maybe I can get it done tonight if the weather isn't too bad.  We'll see.  A friend at work was an emotional wreck yesterday because her friends mother died suddenly.  All these issues, including my truck, are nothing I have come to realize.  Yesterday, two of our fellow Castlettes lost most or all of their belongings to flooding.  They work for our other office in Mesquite, UT. One of our ladies lost her home completely.  A levy broke and her house, with everything in it including Christmas presents for her grandkids and personal belongings, were swept away.  Another's house was flooded, but she was able to save some of her things.  Hearing stories like this about people you actually know puts things into perspective.  I have so many things to be thankful for in my life.  And I am so lucky that things are going well for me.
Lastly, right in the middle of my stressful day, I got a surprise package from my grandmother.  Remember me saying that I wanted to collect odd/creepy Santas?  Well, she sent me one and it is AWESOME.  She also sent me a magnet for my fridge.  It reads: S.L.U.T.S - Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress
It's great, came at the perfect time, and just like she says, it's totally me.  My grandmother thinks I'm a big slut.  So what!  She's right.

5 White Gold or Platinum Rings!!!!

I know.  I skipped the fourth day of Christmas.  You'll get over it, I'm sure.  I was going to write earlier this week, but I couldn't come up with anything.  I've been distracted.  More like, majorly distracted.  Christmas is coming and, being the procrastinator that I am, I am still not done shopping.  I love buying presents for people and it always disappoints me when I can't buy someone absolutely everything that I want to get them.  One day I will.  I just need to remind myself that there are many people that cannot afford to get anything at all for their children or loved ones, so the few small things that I am able to provide are a blessing.  Yeah, I'm all fucking Pollyanna up in this shit. I'm positive even when I'm hurt.  It drives Mike nuts, I think.
I'm really anxious to just get through Christmas.  It will be nice to have a four-day weekend and that might be what I am most looking forward to.  A nice long weekend of doing nothing but playing on the Wii that I got the kids for Christmas.  I just saw a commercial for Zumba for the Wii and I totally want it!  No...I didn't just get the kids a Wii because I wanted one!  Not really...

I won't have Mike on Christmas this year, which makes me sad.  Not emo, "what's the point in celebrating" sad, but sad enough.  We've gotten quite serious and I am so glad I get to ring in the New Year with him.  I have a feeling that 2011 is going to be awesome and I'm ready to get it started!
This weekend he gets to meet my co-workers.  He'll also get to see a different side of me, which will be fun...or completely scare him away...we'll see.  I promise that I will write a better life update on Sunday, after I've had a weekend full of activity...but for now, it's just the same 'ol stuff.  Maybe it's my preoccupied mind, like I said.  It's all good, though.  I could definitely be worse. 

On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 3 days of sneezing...

and some lights on a Joshua tree!

My weekend started out with a cold.  Actually, I've felt sick all week, but the worst days were Friday and Saturday.  I had a weekend without Mike and I have to admit it was a bit lonely.  I missed him terribly.  At the same time, it gave me a chance to spend some time with my mom and the kids, which is never a bad thing.  I caught myself wanting him with me though...like such simple tasks as making my morning coffee weren't quite complete because he wasn't in the other room.  That's big.  That's huge.  I think he and I have passed huge and gone straight to ginormous, but I think I'll leave that for another time.  For now, that is just between him and I...because some things should be kept that way.  But other than me missing Mike, I did have some things happening this weekend.  Thursday, (why do I always feel like my weekends start with Thursday?) Mike took the kids and I to dinner.  It was so nice.  He was supposed to stay over, since he would be gone over the weekend, but it didn't work out that way.  He ended up having to work late, so we went to Outback near his office in order to spend some time together before he left for Utah.  I also ended up giving him my cold.  Still sorry about that, sweetheart.

Friday was...difficult.  About a year ago, my ex hooked up my cable (former cable guy) and it ended up getting shut off a month ago.  During a random call (I say random because he calls out of the blue and never with an actual reason.) I mentioned that it needed to be turned back on.  Since then, I've been getting excuse after excuse as to why he can't make it "all the way over here".  You would think I lived across the country.  So, anyway, after having to cancel plans with Mike last weekend because Rick was coming over and him never showing up...I was fed up.  I wanted my cable, I wanted him to get his visit in with the kids, and I wanted to be done with the whole thing so he would go away again for a few months.  Selfish of me, but I don't care.  I called and left a message at his mother's house (knowing that he goes there during the day when she's not home), telling him that I would come and pick him up after I got off work so we could get things done.  He called back, I picked him up, and took him back to my house.  It was uncomfortable and awkward.  Maybe it was the little sticky note on the cable wire that said, "I hope I can still turn you on." (get it? like cable, but an innuendo at the same time...ugh. gross.) or maybe it was the completely disgusted feeling that I get when I have to be in the same room with him.  Probably all of the above.  Autumn was happy, though, so I endured several hours of his horrible jokes...and the fact that he had to confirm with me what grades his children were in and how old they were.  How the fuck did I put up with that for 10 long years?  When he was about to give me an excuse about his ride not being able to come get him and that he would just stay at my place, I drew the line.  I told him to get his things, that I would drop him off wherever he wanted.  I took him to his friends house, declined an invitation to hang out, and got the hell out of there.  The kids were even glad to see him go at that point.  He had overstayed his welcome, which is something he does a lot...my friends who know him can attest to that.  I told my mom about it the next day and was so thankful that I finally met the person that I am supposed to be with.  Everything that I have been through led me to Michael and I wouldn't change it for anything.  She and I both agreed that I have such a great man now...but we all know her opinion of Mike, right?  She's glad to finally see me happy.
Later that night, I was online and got an IM from SportsBabe.  I've mentioned her before.  She is also friends with C2.  She wanted to catch up and hear all about Mike.  She also wanted to tell me all about her new beau.  They have also had kind of a whirlwind romance, like Mike and I, so we compared notes and gushed about our men.  They are planning on getting married next year.  Then she blurts out with, "Yeah! We're having a big party to celebrate our engagement at C2's house in a few weeks! I really want you to be there. You'll come, right?"  And I'm supposed to bring Mike so they can meet.  I'm considering it.  I really do like her and I'd like to keep her as a friend.  Will I be able to get through a night without punching C2 in the mouth?  Maybe.  He was a complete asshole and still is.  The problem with that is that he admits it and doesn't apologize for it.  He basically warned me about it several times, so how can I hold a grudge?  I won't think about it until I actually get an invitation, which knowing SportsBabe, will be less than 24 hour notice.  She has to know he and I haven't spoken at all in months, right?

Saturday I spent in bed.  Literally.  I even missed a lunch date with one of Mike's best friends.  I felt bad, but she was very gracious about me cancelling.  I laid in bed and slept off and on all day, until about an hour before my mother showed up at my house.  We had plans to go out looking at Christmas lights.  We ended up at the holiday cactus garden at the Ethel M Chocolate Factory.  It is basically a bunch of desert vegetation covered in over 500,000 twinkle lights.  It's actually quite beautiful and the pictures I took don't do it justice at all.  I'd like to go back and spend some time there with Mike, sans a boy with pre-teen angst and a daughter who won't stop fighting with her brother.  I was wishing he was there the entire time and I think he was a little sad that he missed it.

Today I felt mostly recovered, except for a stuffy/runny nose.  I rested this morning, then spent my afternoon cleaning the landfill that was Mini-Me's room.  It was disgusting.  It had actually gotten so bad, that I threatened that she would not be able to have Christmas unless it was clean.  I knew it wouldn't get done.  It had become too much for her to do on her own, so I gave in and helped did it all.  I sat tonight and watched a Christmas movie on TV alone.  I always thought of myself as a person who required alone time.  Recently, my alone time is more lonely than anything.
So, tomorrow begins another week.  I get to have Mike tomorrow night and I'm happy for that.  We're going to the theater again on Friday and then we have my company Christmas party to go to on Saturday night.  I'll be glad to finally get to introduce him to some people in my life other than my children and mother.

On the Second Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: 2 Creepy Santas!

I like to collect things.  Do I ever really get into it, creating this awesome gathering of items?  NO.  I think I collected stamps when I was younger.  I have some interesting vintage tins in my kitchen that I would like more of.  I have quite the collection of Starbucks coffee mugs.  I have a collection of magazines that I will probably never look at again.  I now have something else I would like to create a half-ass collection of... Creepy Christmas decorations!  Specifically, Creepy Santas.  Here are a few that I found.  I think they are adorable and weird.  Or..."disturbing"...as Tattooed and Organic would say.



I just like them.  They are perfect for me.  I can imagine bringing out my creepy Santas every holiday season and just laughing at their perfectly scary faces.  I'm going to make this the best collection yet!
Mike just mentioned that my Santas look like midgets.  I didn't really get that...if anything I think they are more gnome-like and I kind of have a thing for gnomes, too.  Which, I guess if we're analyzing this, gnomes are small drunk midgets.  Hmmmm.  I might have to ponder this. 

I'm not really sure about this one...he really is kind of frightening, isn't he?

On the First Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: A midget to fulfill a fantasy...

Hehehe.  That title was for Michael.  He was making fun of me for having dirty thoughts about a little person last night.  It's not like it's a fetish of mine...I'm just open to all things :)

So, the holiday season has officially started in my coop.  The tree is up and lit, the smell of cookies fills the air, and the Barbies are being whores because they want the good presents from Santa...

It's a known fact that Santa is jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live, you know.

I found my Ugly Christmas Sweater  in my closet and I'm debating on bringing it out this year.  I skipped the tradition last year...but I'm feeling silly.  I think I will wear it to work, then laugh my ass off when everybody I work with compliments it.  They are the types of ladies that will love my sweater...they really won't understand that I'm being ironic.  Plus, it isn't just a sweater, it's a sweater vest...which makes it even more kick-ass.  I could wear it to the company Christmas party!  That would be hilarious.  I'll make Mike wear one too, because he is weird like me and would totally do it if I asked him too.  Maybe I won't do that to him the first time he meets everyone I work with.  I'm not that evil.  Or am I?  He'll have to endure my singing during karaoke at the Christmas party...that could seriously be considered torture.